Losing a child is unimaginable and often unbearable. When two of my triplets died in 2013, I was in a cloud of grief; going through the motions of life and trying to stay afloat as I wept over my losses. I often receive emails from people, wondering what they can do for a loved one who has recently lost a child. While no words or material things will ever bring back their child, I have found there are ways to provide support and comfort, while honoring a child. These are all things I have received over the years. And while they were geared toward the loss of a child, most can also be given for the loss of a loved one at any age. Here are 5 gifts to comfort a grieving friend:
This Laurelbox arrived at my door at a time when I needed it most. The summer months are a difficult time, even three years after the birth of my triplets. I spend the days reminiscing over my micro-preemies in the Nicu, as well as crying over every medical hurdle leading up to the deaths of two of my children. The company was born out of the need for gifts that would help people experiencing a loss. From plantable seed paper to coasters filled with comforting quotes, each gift is hand picked to comfort the grieving friend. I teared up when I opened this box and found such thoughtful items. But most of all, I loved the note. When I pulled out the card, I read a message about Peyton, Parker and Abby. That personal touch was a beautiful addition to an already gorgeous gift.
It’s the perfect way to honor a loved one–by wearing this message close to your heart. I received a few pieces of jewelry, some from friends and some from strangers. I love every single one of them. This necklace has a beautiful quote that I live by, “I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in heaven”. The necklace has wings and was personalized with a “P & A” charm. You can find something like this on Etsy. Laurelbox also sells jewelry if you want a simpler gift. You can simply make a necklace with their initial.
On the first birthday of my triplets, this wall art arrived in the mail. It was a from a fellow triplet mom and came with the perfect message: “Because someone we love is in heaven, a little piece of heaven is in our home”. We have this hung in our entry way for people to see as they walk inside.
This is one of my favorite decorations in Peyton’s room. Shortly after we arrived home from the hospital with our lone surviving triplet, our Nicu nurse brought this gift over. The baby boards are painted to match the colors of Peyton’s room. They say, “Peyton in our arms” and “Parker and Abby in our hearts”. There are two other boards with their birth date and the message, “Born together to grow apart”. There are so many variations of boards available. It’s a very personal and special gift.
You don’t have to spend money to comfort a grieving friend. Simply offering help is one of the most thoughtful things you can do. After giving birth to our triplets, we began a 4 month journey in the Nicu. All my husband and I wanted to do was spend every waking moment with our children in the hospital. Things like caring for our dog and other household chores were difficult to get done. That’s when our friends and family stepped in to help. Our house was professionally cleaned, our dog got in his daily walks and friends offered to take care of our laundry. We had several people drop by freezer meals, others dropped by gift cards for take out meals. All of these simple tasks and gifts helped us out tremendously.
We are lucky to be surrounded by so much love. While these gifts mean the world to us, we are equally blessed by other simple comforts in life like the many prayers that have been said for my family over the years. When I think back to the early days, I’m comforted in knowing that an army of supporters stepped up to help us in a time when we need support the most.
*** The women at Laurelbox saw my post and were kind enough to offer a discount for 15% off their online store. Just enter the code “laurelboxlove”. Thanks ladies! ***