For the past week, I have sat down at my computer and stared at my blog, only to leave it untouched. It’s been exactly a year since Mr. Skry and I embarked on our IVF journey, and I have to admit, it’s hard to revisit. Not only was it emotionally and physically draining, but the end product didn’t turn out exactly as planned. I can set aside my grief to share our journey because I know so many others have faced the same heartache and frustrations of infertility.
I went back through my old blog posts and looked at what I had written when I shared with the world that I couldn’t get pregnant on my own. I watched the news segment as I choked back tears, admitting that I cried myself to sleep, as I longed for the day when I could have a child of my own. 10 years ago, it never crossed my mind that I wouldn’t get pregnant when I wanted to. I’m a “Type A” personality and I like to have the perfect schedule, so it was frustrating when getting pregnant didn’t go exactly as I had planned. Why was it that some people could sneeze and get pregnant, yet I had to to turn to years of fertility drugs and ultimately IVF, to have success?
Until I went public, I had no idea how many people faced the same problems as me. I wasn’t the only one cringing at the sight of baby announcements on Facebook, or faking a smile when someone asked, “Why don’t you have kids yet?” There is a whole community out there, filled with people going through similar circumstances. Yet, few actually talk about it. Why is it that infertility is so taboo? I’ll be the first to admit–the waiting room of a fertility clinic can be uncomfortable. While I wasn’t ashamed of being there, I felt weird. Were all of these other people waiting, going through the same frustrations? Was their insurance covering the cost (Mine sure didn’t!)? These are questions that would race through my mind as I waited to see the doctor, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one wondering. It’s the elephant in the room. Thank goodness the nurses and doctors made me feel so comfortable. They turned it into a positive experience, which we all hoped would lead to a positive pregnancy test.
A year ago, I had a calendar mapped out with medical jargon. Ryan set my phone alarm to play a rap song that shouted “shots”, so fitting for the daily reminder (even though the song was referring to a completely different kind of shot!). Each night, I would give myself several shots. After a few weeks, my stomach was bruised and I was drained. I knew what in vitro fertilization was, but I had no idea how intense and painful the process would be. I had to give myself shots at the same time everyday, which led to galas and events where I had to sneak into the bathroom amidst hundreds of people. My bosses knew what I was enduring, but my coworkers were not aware until the belly bump arrived months later.
I remember taping my television piece last year, where I shared my struggles. I couldn’t do it live because I didn’t think I would get through it without breaking down. I stood there, 4 months pregnant, shaking as I began to read the teleprompter. I was opening up my soul, my darkest secret, for thousands of people. I knew I would be judged and I knew that not everyone would morally agree with the way that I became pregnant. But I forged ahead. The reason? As I began to tell a few friends about my infertility, more and more people opened up to me. I wasn’t alone. So many people I knew went through their own struggle. It was such a huge help knowing friends who went through it before me, so I decided I could help others.
A few people have asked me why my pregnancy or infertility is “news worthy”? Am I blurring the line between what is news and what is personal? Sure, but my triplets became news when I could no longer hide it on television. And I was more than happy to share our excitement with the world. Since going public with my infertility struggles, I have heard from hundreds, if not thousands, of people around the world. I have a stack of emails and messages that I printed out; a reminder that so many others want children just as badly as my family. I have heard from women who need a shoulder to cry on and those who want to share their success with me. Each story holds a special place in my heart. I’m so thankful that a common bond has connected me with an entire community of people longing to be a mom or dad.
Just this past week, I received several emails about IVF. One was from a woman, halfway around the world, who found my story online. She learned about our surviving triplet Peyton, and it gave her hope that she could one day have a child. The last email I received was from a woman who wanted to share her good news. After nearly a decade of infertility issues, she was finally pregnant. When I read emails like this one, I can’t help but smile and tear up. My message for those of you going through the heartache of infertility–don’t give up! Miracles do happen.
Thank you SO much for all of the emails and messages over the past year, keep them coming. It’s means the world to me that my story can give others hope. Keep on trucking along. Even during the toughest times, I tried to stay positive, which sure goes a long way. And please pass along my blog to anyone you know who may be struggling with infertility. Hearing other stories helped keep my sanity over the years.
And one last note–A lot of people hear of IVF or fertility treatments and think of Octomom. That is not how it works! 99.9% of doctors are extremely cautious about the procedure and would never help a women get pregnant with so many babies. My triplets were a complete surprise. We knew there was a chance for twins, but we never even discussed three until they found three little heartbeats. One of my embryos had split, giving me identical twin girls and a boy. No Octomom moments for me! And as for the complications I endured during my pregnancy, none of it was because of fertility treatments. Every pregnancy has risks. Unfortunately, I faced every complication imaginable. But I’m so grateful that I had triplets, even if Abby and Parker were only here for a short time. My trio has shown Ryan and I more strength than we ever thought was possible. While our hearts are heavy at times, they are also full with so much love.
Read my original infertility story by clicking this link: Struggle With Infertility
Watch my infertility story on the news: Sharing My Infertility Journey
Follow me on Facebook: Stacey Skrysak
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[…] was leaning towards twins at 4 weeks, which we thought was perfect! We spent years dealing with infertility and having twins would make our family complete. Little did we know that we’d be in for the […]
When you look at this amazing gift from God I am sure everything you went through was worth it….she is beautiful and you and Ryan are truly blessed….Princess Peyton is blessed because she will always have 2 guardian angels Parker and Abby sitting on her shoulders. Stay strong…praying for nothing but the best… hugs♡♡♡♡
thanks for sharing.You have given hope to many I`m sure.
Love reading the blogs and seeing new pictures.
jane
she is a blessing and the pain was your blessing
I did not struggle with infertility…I struggled with carrying baby to term. Four miscarriages and 1 stillborn son but I just want to say that I agree completely NEVER GIVE UP! Miracles happen….I know I have three! Thanks for sharing.
I think you should write a book and let those people know that they should NEVER GIVE UP. You and your husband have been through a lot, but other people need to know that they are not alone. I think it would give them hope and help them through the process of IVF. Also you could let them know about all the programs that are available for them. Your blog has a lot of information in it. Peyton is a very beautiful little girl. I always read your blog every week. I am one of those people that never had any trouble getting pregnant and until I read about you I never realized how it was.
I have two sons, ages 7 and 4. I went through 4 rounds of IVF, 3 were successful, one didn’t work, one natural pregnancy, and two beautiful angel daughters watching us from above. I also had complications during each pregnancy with my placenta as I have a blood clotting disorder. So after the IVF shots were over I then had to continue blood thinning shots until 3 days before scheduled deliveries. It all happened in about a 5 year span. I’m glad it’s over and I enjoy my boys everyday. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing. I am going to the same doctor you did. Last March, I went through the grueling process and became pregnant with twins. One didn’t make it through the first trimester. I was sad, but I am a farm girl and I know that nature takes care of itself. So I coped. When I was 20 weeks along (on July 30th), my water broke and my surviving baby was too young for the doctors to save. My husband and I named him after my grandpa and buried him with my dad. It was a very low time in my life, but we immediately knew we wanted to try again. On Halloween, the doctor did surgery to check and make sure I was ready. As a surprise to all of us, some of the placenta was still there. After the removal, my body needed some time to heal. So I was pushed back on the schedule. I was devastated. Surgery again in December showed I need more healing time and I was pushed back once more. Currently I am on the schedule in March (a year from my last attempt). It’s been a rough road and I hope that I’m physically and mentally ready to go through it again. Your story inspires me. Don’t hesitate to tell it!! It helps people like me feel like this is possible and worth it. It’s easy to become discouraged and I feel it everyday. But hearing stories from people like you helps. Thank you.
Wish so much things like this had been more popular when I was child bearing age. Now in my 60’s I have no kids and no one left but a brother (450 miles away) and my hubby. Life would have been so wonderful with a child to share. I am so proud of you the way you have handled it all. You have been through so much and have had to deal with so much. but you still have Peyton and she is soooo lucky to have you both. And the 2 angels in heaven will be there watching over you all. God Bless you all and take care! This was a good post and sure will help so many young people looking for a way to have kids.
I know the struggles and tears my daughter and son-in-law experienced. It was heart wrenching. Now we have a grandson through adoption and he is the BEST!!!
Beautifully written & even more beautiful baby! I look forward to each update! Take care.
Our IVF son will be turning 26 in about a month. Yeah, we were one of the “pioneers” way back when. He is engaged to be married in about a year and a half. He’s the light of our lives!
Loved your latest blog. You should write a book, you certainly share the information so well .Love the pictures of Peyton and all the news. Look forward to seeing more pictures. Remember you sharing on WAND news you were expecting. Was so happy for you. You have a darling daughter and 2 guardian angels looking out for all of you. God Bless
Stacey, Thank you for sharing your story with so many who have or will experience infertility. There are so many who do not want children, yet they have child after chlld, only to abandon them emotionally, physically or both. You and Ryan have been an encouragment to so many people just by sharing your story. Peyton truly is a miracle as were Abby and Parker. I am glad you have left them on your Perfectly Peyton blog, because they are part of your family and will always be..just they are your heavenly family.
I am excited to know that your sphere of influence goes around the world. There have to be hundreds of families who never speak of these kind of problems, so you are opening up lines of communication in so many homes, families and countries. You have displayed a rare courage and compassion for others in sharing your story. Love, Aunt Mary
Stacey, I found your blog from a friend of mine on Facebook, while I can’t image what you and your husband have been though every time I read your blog I have to smile. You need to write a book. Your blog is so beautiful and I know that it comes straight from the heart. Peyton is beautiful and I’m sure has everyone wrapped around her finger. I so look forward to reading your blogs.
Hi Peyton! So happy to read all your Mommys post.. you are a very special little girl to have picked such wonderfuls parents.. God bless you and your family..
Stacey everything you went through is sad. But I have faith that Peyton is a fighter like you. She is truly a miracle child.Have faith and lots of love for her. Keep your chin up.
p.s. Peyotn is truly a princess and beautiful.
Well Hi Peyton and Happy 1st valentine’s Day to you Abby, and Parker. I have a grandson named PARKER. I so enjoy your mommy putting pictures of you on here. also letting us watch you grow . god bless you your mommy and daddy.