I have heard of it before–finding a symbol from your loved who passed away. Sometimes it can be in the sky or through a plant, bird, etc. For the past year, I have longed for that sign from above. I keep hoping that Abby and Parker will come to me in my dreams or through a sign above. Well over the weekend, my wish came true and I want to share it with you.
I had pulled into our driveway after running errands and Ryan, Peyton and Riley greeted me on the front porch. As I reached the door to our house, a beautiful butterfly started circling me. The orange and black wings fluttered around me, from my head down to my feet. I took the bags of groceries inside and when I returned to the front porch, the butterfly returned as well. It continued to flutter around me, finally landing on our front door mat. It was content to just sit there and watch me. That’s when I knew it was a sign from above and I said to Ryan, “Who is it? Abby or Parker?”. Tears started rolling down my face as I watched the butterfly. It was as if this tiny creature wanted to come inside, just sitting contently on our door mat for several minutes. As I told Ryan to grab his phone and take a picture, Riley decided to check out the butterfly and it quickly flew away. But for those few precious moments, my heart filled with so much joy. I have waited so long to see some symbol of life from my angels and it finally appeared, just a few weeks before their birthday.
The days are getting increasingly difficult as we get closer my triplets birthday. A year ago tomorrow is when Abby’s water broke and the remaining days of my pregnancy were spent in the hospital, each hour and day filled with the fear that my babies would be born too soon. But when I relive every moment, I can’t help but look at Peyton in awe. She is breaking boundaries left and right. So many preemies face numerous complications. And while she has had her share of ups and downs, you would never know it by looking at her. I’m going to be the crazy mom who shares her miracle story every chance I get. I can picture her at high school graduation or on her wedding day, rolling her eyes as I tell people about the day my triplets were born and the hurdles she jumped over to get where she is.
I know I mentioned I would talk about Birthday plans, but I think I’ll save that for next week. The truth is, I keep going back and forth on what to do. Part of me wants a few of our close friends and nurses to share in her cake and celebrate the miracle she has become. But the other part of me, just wants to have a quiet day with my daughter, letting myself cry with my husband and reminisce over our three beautiful children. I’m trying to come up with a simple thing to do to remember our two angels, whether that’s planting some flowers or releasing balloons. Please any ideas–I’m at a loss!
I’ll leave you with a few pictures of Miss P. We’re off to the doctor’s this morning for some ongoing issues, but all in all, she is doing fantastic! My Aunt, cousin and her kids came up from St. Louis yesterday and it was an exciting moment for them to finally meet Peyton. They visited me last year when I was on bed rest and I know they were eager to see the princess. Along with some darling outfits, they also brought a personalized gift. The jar has Peyton on the front and two hearts on the back with an “A” and “P”, in memory of Abby and Parker. It will be perfect to hold Peyton’s hair bows or tiny toys…what a thoughtful gift! And check out another personalized surprise that arrived in the mail from a dear family friend… “Princess Peyton” dishes. Peyton loves them, though she thinks they are edible!!!
Spend the day with Peyton. Release Butterfly’s in your favorite place to visit. It is such a sweet thing to see these delicate creatures rise up with the wind and flutter away. Then have a small party another day to include others.
Rest in His Peace & Joy Stacey, Ryan and Peyton! Much Love – Rhonda C
I had the same idea as Rhonda!!!!
Love the sign from above. Totally believe.
What a beautiful post. Butterflies are also important to me. Each time I see one I think its one of my precious heaven babies. On my due date in May I decided to plant a butterfly Bush. You can find them most anywhere. Maybe one would have a perfect spot in your yard. 🙂 God Bless.
Yes, plant a butterfly bush & out in front of it make a perianal flower garden that draws butterflies. Add some stepping stones, maybe some relatives would want to buy the stones to add. Add each yr. on their birthday.
both flowers and balloons are great have you thought about planting blooming trees that way everytime you look at them you will see them always.
Thank you for sharing your story. We too spent some time in St. John’s NICU and each day (even when a strong willed 3 year old makes it a “challenge”) we marvel in our blessings and luck. I would suggest planting a tree for each angel and you can watch them grow each year. If you move you can dig up the tree and transplant it as any mom would do for her babies 🙂
At a funeral I went to awhile back, we released purple balloons (her favorite color) into the air after the ceremony. It was beautiful! Maybe you could get a bunch of your family & friends together, & release blue & pink ones into the air in memory of them. So happy for you guys & Peyton is an absolutely beautiful miracle! <3
Have you thought about releasing butterflies? You could do it every year on their birthday! We did it at a wedding once, and it was beautiful! You can order butterflies to be released:) just a thought!
In honor of your experience with the butterfly, why not release butterflies on their birthday? You could have a nice celebration honoring Peyton’s miraculous year of life while also honoring the memory of your two precious angels, Abby and Parker.
I can only imaging the struggle between being thrilled that Peyton is growing and beating all of the odds and grieving for your other two babies. As a remembrance to Abby and Parker, what about a park bench/cement bench with butterflies on it? Please don’t release balloons, the environmental risk is too great for wherever they land. Animals in the water try to eat them, and birds/other animals get tangled in the string.
Whatever you choose to do, I’m sure it will be a wonderful commemoration to your two angels and celebration of your living angel here with you.
Have both parties – one for friends/family and a private one for you. As far as celebrating Abby and Parker, anything you do will be done with love and that’s the important thing. I think the balloon release sounds neat (something Peyton can enjoy watching) or maybe a night time lantern release.
Peyton looks wonderful. You must celebrate for Peyton since Parker, and Abby are part of her, and always will be. She has fought hard for both Parker, and Abby. They are here in spirit. I loved the butterfly story, and love seeing her pictures.
How special about the butterfly.A good friend of mine died recently and we joked about coming back as a butterfly.To my surprise shortly after her death,there was a beautiful butterfly flying around me.
Love the pics of Peyton,she is such a doll.Thanks for sharing her with others.
HUGS
jane
I have an idea of what you can do to remember your little angels. Since the butterfly was your sign this week, what about planting a butterfly bush or two?? I hope that whatever you do, you find peace in the day and joy in your beautiful miracle!!!
How about a tree planted in your yard to honor the triplets births Happy Birthday Peyton
What about planting a butterfly bush near your door?
That is what I was thinking. Creating a butterfly garden. You could make stepping stones with Peyton’s feet in the shape of butterflies.
I am sure you have found this out but God answers our prayers in His Time…Our God is a Awesome God and I believe he has brought Peyton through all of this to you Ryan n Riley to bring you all the joy she possibly can….I am sure the butterfly was a sign also…Every day is a gift…its up to you how you choose to use it!!!! Peyton is a very lucky child to have been delivered to you….she will bring you more joy than you could possibly imagine. ….enjoy every second…you above anyone knows how quickly time can change things!!!
Can’t wait to hear about Peytons bday party….birthdays are something to be celebrated…its tough to be in your position….you just have to follow your heart…I am sure you will do what is right for your daughters and son….I will be thinking about you…..prayers lifted for you and Ryan…Abby.. Parker..Peyton n Riley too!!!!!..hugs♡♡♡
How fantastic she is doing and growing. Yes I agree must celebrate her birthday and then a remembrance of Abby and Parker. Think the Balloons are a great idea and the planting Flowers or even a small tree so you can watch it grow over the years in honor of them. She is such a doll. Thanks for the story.
How about a beautiful little Fairy Garden in your yard for Parker and Abby? You could put a little bench next to it where you could sit and feel close to them.
such a touching story about the butterfly. maybe have a private birthday party and cake at the cemetery for all three of them. love hearing how well Peyton is doing. such wonderful stories to tell her about her siblings and herself as she grows up. God bless all of your family. Thanks from Virginia.
Maybe some special time in the morning and a celebration of three beautiful spirits in the late afternoon early evening the family wants to celebrate the first birthday with Peyton it’s a very special time. I know this as being an aunt and no children of my own my nieces and nephews are my life. so I guess that’s why I see the family side.
My Mom passed away several years ago. She absolutely loved hummingbirds. For several years now I have noticed hummingbirds in my front yard near the window on a daily basis. We just recently moved, and I’m curious to see if the hummingbirds come with us. I have a feeling they will. I know it’s a little crazy, but I’ve gotten to where every time I see one I have to say “Hi Mom!” It just really feels like she is checking in on me and letting me know she is at peace.
Shortly after she passed away, I got a small hummingbird tattoo on my lower calf with rays of sunlight all around it. That’s just my little way of having a small piece of my Mom with me always…maybe two small butterfly tattoos would do the same for you! Just a thought. I know from now on every time you see a butterfly you will feel differently…hopefully it brings you the peaceful feeling that seeing a hummingbird brings to me.
We have let off lanterns in memory of some friends lost. They are like the ones on the movie Tangled. You can find them online in a lot of colors. It is nice to light them at night and watch them float away. Maybe you could have your small family party during the day and your own time that evening. May peace be with you on their special day.
How beautiful and fitting that a butterfly would send a message of your little ones in heaven! They have been transformed just like a butterfly from a caterpillar. Before my mom passed, she had been working on a butterfly afghan for my daughter. A few days after her funeral, I went to her grave, and it was covered in little blue-gray butterflies! I knew in my heart that God allowed her to give me a sign she was ok. And, just like with you, it brought such joy & peace.
Beautiful story of the butterfly. I know the babies birthday will be joyous but also difficult. I lost my son when he was 14. He had many special needs. My birthday is the day before his birthday. For many years my birthday and his was not happy….until 2 years ago. That was the day my grandson was born on my birthday. God’s way of telling me to be happy again on my birthday. Every year on my son’s birthday we release balloons. One for him, one from me and one from his dad and one each from his 2 brothers. I will be thinking of you and Ryan in the coming days. You will know just what to do. You are great parents and you are truly blessed with beautiful Peyton who also shares a part of Parker and Abby.
After hearing about the butterfly, an idea for remembering Abby and Parker is to release Monarch Butterflies. I did this at my wedding for those that were no longer with us. It is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I had warm butterflies with me all day. The butterflies were all around us for hours. I highly recommend Swallowtail Farms, they are wonderful to work with. I have included their website below. Lots of love and wishes Peyton.
http://www.swallowtailfarms.com/pages/butterflyreleases_sd.html
I’ve seen people release butterflies at weddings and other events, so maybe you could do that for a part of the celebration…
Thanks for always sharing with us. How about naming two stars after them. I think naming stars is a beautiful way to remember someone.
Here is a thought….I have a daughter who is adopted from China. Birthdays for children who are adopted can bring an array of emotions, just like in your case. For my daughter, she was born to be left for another family. And here we are celebrating that she was born, but not by me. I believe God chose her for us, but it is still difficult to “celebrate” in the sense that we here in America celebrate birthdays. Many children from China are born to be left, often on their birthday. I choose to “mourn” a bit the day before our daughter’s birthday. After all there is a 13 hour difference in the two countries. I don’t always mourn. I often say a prayer of thanks for a difficult decision that was made. I want my daughter to feel the typical and normal happiness that she should feel on her birthday, even though at times she obviously acknowledges that someone else gave birth to her. I often light a candle the day before her big day in remembrance of her birth family that is lost to her. Maybe this can help you.
My eyes are a little teary right now after reading your beautiful butterfly incident – I do believe that God sends us signs that the people we love are happy and doing fantastic in Heaven! I love the idea of balloons rising to the Heavens in memory of Abby and Parker ( and this is something that even Peyton can help do – hold them in her little hand, if even for a moment ) ….. I totally understand your feelings of wanting to cherish your time with just Peyton but I’m with some of the others – maybe have a quiet morning and then celebrate with others later in the day! What ever you decide, you have an adorable little girl that is a true gift from God Our Father – enjoy her, celebrate her and cherish your times as a family! Thanks again for sharing your journey with us – I always look forward to Monday Morning cuteness and your weekly blog! Thanks Stacey!
I’ve followed your story since your triplets were born and I can’t tell you how terribly sorry I am for your loss. You talked about planting flowers or releasing balloons for Abby and Parker. I just wanted to suggest maybe a memorial garden for them. I lost a baby last year as well due to falling very ill half way through my pregnancy. I was not expected to survive but I did and unfortunately we found out the day we left the hospital that our baby’s heart had stopped beating. I was devastated and knew that I needed to do something to help get through the heart ache so I planted a memorial garden. It was wonderful to be able to just sit out by the garden and have a beautiful and quiet place to sit and think about our baby. Every time a new flower bloomed I felt like it was our little Aidan telling us that everything would be alright. Planting the garden brought me so much peace in the situation. Just an idea for you. I hope that you find something to do for Abby and Parker that will help you find peace as well as their birthday approaches. Sending prayers for beautiful miss Peyton. I hope she continues with her excellent progress.
I think the flowers are a great idea too. Trees would be even better because you can watch them grow. My babysitter was killed in a car accident in 91 at 15. Her mom planted a tree for her in their yard. I live caddy corner from their house and I think of her every time I see the tree. I love reading your updates and seeing pictures of the beautiful Peyton.
Hi Peyton love your new pictures. Also Stacey loved your butterfly story. I believe it was a sign from God that you had been waiting for. It is hard to say about the party, but do what feels best for you. We lost our daughter 11 year ago and send balloons up a lot. It helps us. God’s Blessings to you all
My heart goes out to you! A butterfly bush is a great idea or a following tree or bush. Make the day celebratory, not one of grief. As she grows older you don’t want her to think her birthday is a sad day. Celebrate the triplets birth. Balloons are littering the earth and very dangerous to wildlife, although they are beautiful. Peyton grows cuter all the time. So glad she’s healthy.
Chinese lanterns going toward the sky would be beautiful!
Happy Birthday to your Little Princess Peyton, and your two little one’s in heaven wishing them all a wonderful Big Day, May they all have a fun filled day! We also have a Grand daughter we call Princess Payton, she is turning 5 on the 26 of this month.
You do what you feel in your heart… give yourself the day to “feel and be” …. You deserve it! But celebrate with Miss P also … make her day happy! I agree with Judi… the butterfly bush would be awesome! BTW… I love seeing your smile back on the news!
You could plant some flowers that attract butterflies and put up a butterfly house. Another idea is to donate children’s books to the library. You could even pick books about butterflies or books about triplets or with characters that share the same names as your children. I know at my library they will even put a label in the book showing that it was purchased in honor of someone. You could make it a tradition and when Peyton gets older she can help pick the book.
Spend the day your triplets came into this world with Peyton. I truly believe that the butterfly that was flying around you was a sign from Abby and Parker letting yo hand Ryan know they are both ok and that they are watching you all from the heaven above. So in honor of Abby and Parker look into getting a butterfly garden planted and see if that black and orange butterfly will come and than you guys can go out to the garden if you are having a bad day or are sad.
Stacy, I know God sends us signs to let us know our loved ones are safe in His arms. My sign was a hawk that followed the mourners at the funeral. You need to celebrate as you and Ryan want. Coming up on the 1st birthday of my grt granddaughters which is also the day God called her home so I kind of know what you mean. A butterfly bush or a memorial garden with butterfly loving plants would be beautiful. May God hold you close as you celebrate the miracle of Peyton and as you mourn Abby and Parker. God bless the three of you.
Stacy, you’ve had so many good ideas here. But Don’t spend the day crying. It IS the birth day of Abby and Parker, but iti’s Peyton’s birthday and you don’t want to spend every one of her birthdays thinking of things that make you sad. I hope you understand how I mean this; it’s all said with love. 🙂
Plant 3 butterfly bush for all 3 of these MIRACLES. This way there is always an envieroment ready and waiting for your Angels