Happy Birthday Miss P!!!!! It’s hard to believe that Peyton, Parker and Abby were born one year ago on June 23rd, 2013. Life has gone by so slow, even a standstill at times, yet here we are wondering how the past 12 months zipped by us. I look at Peyton and words can’t describe how proud I am of this little miracle. Born into this world facing an uphill battle, she has proven every statistic wrong. Looking at my 22 weeker, there are no signs of the tough road she has faced…other than being a petite little girl. But, Peyton is growing–now tipping the scale at just over 14 1/2 lbs and nearly 27 inches in length! Take a look a look below to see how far she has come. Each of my triplets weighed just over a pound at birth and 11 inches in length.
So what is Peyton like at one year old? She’s behind developmentally, which is expected for the first few years. She’s not walking yet, but she is getting close to crawling (thanks to her therapists!). No words yet, but she loves to babble and is even learning sign language. And this girl can eat! Peyton doesn’t have any teeth yet, but she loves to eat anything put in front of her.
Most importantly, Peyton has come such a long way medically. Ready for the big news?!? Peyton’s heart disorder (called a PDA) is officially closed! It’s something that normally closes soon after birth, but not in the case of some preemies. Peyton was so tiny and sick that surgery wasn’t an option early on. Medication seemed to have slowly helped it, but she still had a small opening. We knew that surgery was a possibility as a toddler. But we were pleasantly surprised when her cardiologist said it was closed. The perfect news to receive on her birthday! We haven’t crossed her doctor off the list yet, but we don’t have to go back for a year.
I talked a lot about planning her birthday leading up to the big day, so what did we end up doing? Well, I’m the terrible parent who schedules her doctor appointments on her B-Day, but there was a reason behind it. Plain and simple–it kept me busy and kept my mind off of the sadness. As much as I wanted to be happy and celebrate Peyton, there was a part of me that knew I would be grieving. Ryan and I were up most of the night before, laying in bed and thinking about every moment leading up to the birth of Abby, then Peyton, then Parker. I was in labor for more than 33 hours, so it’s a lot of time to contemplate and look back on.
We spent a few hours at the cardiologist, then P was off to get her one year vaccinations. By the end of the day, we were exhausted. My phone had dozens of messages from family and friends. But those calls and texts will be responded to in time. On Peyton’s birthday, I needed to unplug and spend it with Ryan and our surviving triplet. Ryan and I laughed with Peyton as she opened her presents (she LOVES wrapping paper) and we cried together as the enormity of the day sank in. Ryan and I got through this heartbreaking, yet exciting year. And I have to think, we’ve gone through the worst moments in our lives, this year has to look up…right?!
Enough of the sorrow–Peyton’s birthday weekend was a blast! We decided to let her delve into a cake the day before. Peyton’s nanny has become part of our family, so she joined us with her family to watch Peyton attack the mound of sugar. And boy did she ever! This girl definitely has her mom’s sweet tooth. Check out the pictures below for a play-by-play. And of course big brother, Riley, was there to mop up the remnants.
We also wanted to take some time to remember Parker and Abby. As Peyton gets older, we’ll separate the days. We want her birthday to be all about the Princess and then let her take part in remembering her brother and sister on a separate day…August 16th, the day Parker passed away. Thanks to all of your suggestions, we picked out a beautiful butterfly bush. Ryan planted it in our front yard, right next to our two pinwheels we received at a remembrance walk where we honored our two angels. We also lit a candle for Abigail and Parker, which stayed lit for 24 hours. It was a simple way to remember them, but not take away from our living miracle, Peyton.
I wish I could say that a year later it is easier, but truthfully, it feels like a bandaid was just ripped off of me. The days leading up to their birthday was a blur. I was just going through the motions at work, concentrating on reading the news and not breaking down in tears. But the best thing I did was allow myself to cry. I cried over the thought of bringing three precious lives into this world (what a miracle creating a child is). I cried for Abby and Parker, longing to go back a year and be able to hold their tiny, perfect little bodies. And I cried over Peyton. I don’t know if she will ever understand what she went through, and what she faces in the years to come, but I have constant tears of joy for this beautiful girl and all that she has conquered.
I want to thank the support team Peyton, Parker and Abby has gained from around the world. I remember writing a quick post on Facebook while laying in the ICU, just a few days post partum. I remember crying as I shared the news of the tragic delivery and scary days ahead. I knew people had been following my triplet pregnancy, so I wanted to update them, rather than disappear for months. Little did I know, my triplets would touch tens of thousands of lives. In the months to come, I would hear from childhood and college friends; strangers from the Midwest, around the world to Australia. And while I don’t always have time to respond, I do read each and every comment and message. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for joining my family’s journey. You have cried and grieved with us and you’ve laughed and smiled along with us, too.
Someone recently asked me how long I plan to keep my blog going? There has to be a time when the journey ends, right? I spend a lot of time in front of my computer, writing blog posts and updating pictures so that you can watch Peyton grow. I’m sure there will come a day when life gets too busy, but don’t expect that to be anytime soon. Writing is my therapy. I have learned so much about myself through this blog. And most importantly, this blog has given me an outlet to help others…whether it be infertility, the Nicu journey, or grief. I have found new purpose in life and I think that I’m a better person because of it.
Take a look at the pictures below. They are just a few of the highlights of Peyton’s birthday weekend. She met new friends, saw old buddies and constantly showed off her massive grin!
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[…] us this year. With a new job and a trip to Nebraska, P’s big day was here before we knew it. Last year, in the weeks leading up to June 23rd, I relived the first anniversary of every complication and […]
I cried reading your blog today. What a precious story you have told. Your journey has been long and hard but you have blossomed because of it. The pictures of Peyton opening her gifts made me smile. She truly is a miracle and God picked just the right parents to give her to. Wishing you many blessings in the year ahead.
I loved reading your blog and teared up at times.Peyton is adorable.Love being part of your family.Love the new posts and seeing new pictures.Look forward to seeing new pics and new posts.
I teared up several times reading this blog entry. I can’t imagine how up and down your emotions would be during the past weeks leading up to the birthday of your three beautiful babies. I have enjoyed reading this blog so much. I really wish you and your family the best of health and happiness. You’ve definitely had your share of heartbreak, so it’s all down hill from here (that’s my prayer for you!).
Happy Birthday to you all, after all it is a day you all share. I hope you never give up the blog, even if it is just a Christmas card once a year, that is at least until she says Mom enough already.
I loved your blog today. Had so many tears of happiness and sorrow. Peyton looked like she enjoyed her birthday. What a precious gift from God. Best wishes to her and your family. Please keep pictures and news on Peyton coming. Love reading about her and how she’s doing. God bless you all.
Everytime I read your blog it brings tears to my eyes. Tears of happiness, joy and sadness. I know how it is to have a miracle baby. I gave birthday to mine be 6 years next month and thank god to the good Lord above that she’s still with me today and growing like a weed :). My prayers will always be with you all
It sounds like you had a wonderful celebration for Miss Peyton, Abby and Parker. Such great news about Miss P’s heart condition too. Stacey throughout this journey you have been such an inspiration and blessing to many. Thank you for letting us share this year full of sorrow and happiness with you. God bless you.
Happy Birthday sweet child and may your two guardian angles always be at your side watching over you and guiding your steps as you enter another year. My heart has cried and celebrated with you all through this journey. My husband and i gave birth to bbb last August and one son is still at NICU hoping to have him home before his first birthday. Love you all and keep writing it’s food for the soul
Thanks for sharing. I then share Monday morning cuteness with all my Facebook friends whom some have asked if Peyton is family. I tell them yes but in a special way. Thanks again for letting us into your family.
What an inspiration! You are a beautiful Mother and Miss Peyton is so lucky to have you as her Mother and your husband as her Daddy. Prayers are with you daily. I love to read your blogs! God Bless you and your family.
Beautifully written, Stacey! Thanks SO much for including us in your most intimate of “life.” The Landgrafs send our love!
Beautiful and so sweet
Sounds like Peyton had a great birthday. Pictures are too cute of her. Love the last one in her sleeper and party hat. Looks like she was partied-out!!! Glad you chose the butterfly bush for your angels. There is a school teacher from Champaign that our daughter-in-law taught with. Their first child had cancer and died right at a year old. I followed his post all along on Caring Bridge. I know it was good therapy for him and, they too, was/is loved by so many all over the US. They have a daughter now and she is a joy to them but they still miss David so much and some days are still a struggle. So many have encouraged him to write a book of their journey with David. It should be coming out some time soon. I want to get it since I have felt such a connection with them. I pray for comfort for your loss of your Abby and Parker and rejoice with you in the triumphs that Peyton has accomplished. I’m so thankful that God has allowed you the joy of having Peyton in your lives. Her pictures say it all how much she is loved and cared for. You and Ryan are wonderful parents!!!
Love that last picture – she looks like her tummy is full and she’s all birthdayed out! She gets cuter and more expressive every day. Don’t close your blog til she graduates high school! 🙂 I want to know everything she does!
Happy Happy Birthday Princess Peyton!! Looks like you had a wonderful time celebrating with all the cake & gifts. Glad you let Riley help clean up the mess – I am sure it made him a happy furry bro. You get more beautiful with every picture showing your accomplishments. I must admit that the way your Mommy wrote your birthday story brought tears to my eyes. You have the most wonderful, special parents anyone could want and they deserve every minute of joy and happiness you give them. Glad I am able to share in your trials and tribulations – some joyful and some sad. Much love and hugs & kisses to you & your family!!
I just want to say that your blogs has brought me to tears time and time again. Thank the Lord for the miracle that he has done in Peyton. Your family is in our prayers rejoicing with you the wonderful progress that Peyton has made. But also to praying for the sorrow and emptiness that you feel when you are thinking of Parker and Abby. I just pray that God will give you peace and joy in the Times you need it most. God Bless Your Family.
love the post! and i absolutley adore the little garden area you created <3 so beautiful!
Enjoy your blog so much. I hope you never give it up but do understand how hectic life can be. She is such a sweetie. Glad she had a great birthday and the bush and stone was so nice. Parker and Abby will always be there. Bless you all as the journey continues and thing get better. Thanks again!
Happy 1st Birthday Miss P and a heavenly birthday to Abby and Parker. Thanks for share your story with us who not only watch you on TV but love the updates on Miss P. She is a joy to see the changes and how much she is growing. God made you a special person to share with others your family story. God Bless you and Ryan and you walk this path each day with Miss P. so glad to be a part of this journey cause I can laugh with you, have cried with you and can see the blessing that a special little girl brings to us all
Just wanted to wish Miss P a happy birthday. Love the blog you post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelingswith
I love your blog. It is so brave of you to tell your story. I am sure it is not easy telling this story. Your blog is wonderful. And little Miss Peyton is adorable! I am so happy for you and your family. My mom loves when I share your stories with her. She is old fashioned and doesn’t have internet. LOL I wish you the best and look forward to more stories of Miss P’s adventures.
I love reading your blog. You are an amazing mommy/woman who
Is able to share some of the hardest days/moments of your lives. I love seeing Peyton’s big grin as often as I can. Happy 1st Birthday Peyton!!