Once a Triplet, Always a Triplet

People often remind me, “Once a triplet, always a triplet.” It’s definitely true: Peyton will always be a triplet. And I really do believe that she knows she’s a triplet. She’s drawn to pictures of Parker and Abby and is obsessed with her two P & A teddy bears. She even recognizes their names when we talk about her siblings. The same goes for me…once a triplet mom, always a triplet mom. I became part of the triplet community when I found out I was expecting a trio at 6 weeks along. The local multiples community took me under their wings and the online support was amazing. But I do get the question every so often, “Is it hard to see other triplets?”
When someone asks me that, no, I don’t get offended. It’s a valid question. Much like other parents of child loss will tell you, sometimes it’s hard to see other babies when all you picture is holding your own child who is no longer here on earth. I remember shortly after Abby passed away, I had a conversation with Mr. Skry about ours survivors at that point. I feared that we would be out in public and everyone would ask if we had twins. Nowadays, I don’t expect to be stopped by people wanting to know about having 3 babies at once. And I don’t expect people to look at us, wondering if our trio is “natural” or if we used fertility treatment. Instead, the biggest question I get is, “Is this your only child?” That’s a whole other blog post to delve into, so I’ll save that response for another day!
Lets get back to the triplet question. For some reason, seeing other triplets doesn’t bother me one bit. In the early days after my children were born, I dreaded it. I stayed off of Facebook in fear that seeing three babies would set off my grief. But over time, it was the complete opposite. I became close friends with an online group of triplet moms. Many of them I first got to know during my pregnancy and they turned into a huge support system after losing two of my children. These days, I love to see their updates on Facebook and I smile as I picture what it would be like if my trio was here for a triplet playdate. I’m so close with these ladies that we even started a yearly “Triplet Moms Getaway”; a weekend each year where we meet for a kid-free and spouse-free weekend. Last year was Chicago, and this past weekend was Las Vegas.
Imagine this: 33 triplet moms=99 babies born in 2013. That’s quite the statistic!!! Last year was a little nerve-wracking, going on a trip with dozens of women I met through social media. But, the moment we all met in person, it was like we were old friends. We had been there for each other through the best and worst times and we all experienced a rare pregnancy that connected us. Ever since our Chicago gathering ended, we’ve been planning and counting down the days for this year’s trip. The moment I saw my close friends, the hugs and squeals ensued! While the majority of the ladies I had known from Chicago, there were some new 2013 moms who joined in…and they picked up right where we left off! As I was shopping with some of the moms, one of them turned to me and said, “I’m so happy you’re here. I’m so glad you never left the triplet group.” I tear up when I think of that comment because there was a time when I was unsure whether I belonged. Two of my triplets passed away and I felt like I wouldn’t be able to relate to these moms. And I didn’t know if some would think it was bizarre that I was sticking around the group with only one survivor. But, I learned shortly after my second child died, these ladies are with me for life. Whether it’s celebrating a milestone for Peyton or choking up while reading a heartfelt blog post, these women are part of my journey, crying and cheering along with me. And this past weekend just solidified that.

 
While I can’t relate to potty training three toddlers at once, I can find common ground in so many other ways. We turn to each other for dinner ideas and 2-year-old activities, for traveling tips and ways to keep our marriages going strong. And most importantly, we have all become a shoulder to lean on. We share exciting news in our lives, well before it’s made public, and we lean on each other when we’re faced with an uphill battle. Over the past 2 1/2 years, these ladies have taught me so much, but most importantly, they remind me that I will always be a triplet mom. And in case you’re wondering, our Vegas trip was an absolute blast!  But, after a few wild nights of staying up till dawn, I may vote for a low key trip next year (I’m still exhausted a week later). We may all be moms with chaotic lives, but we sure know how to have fun…and as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!
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