In the past 24 hours, I’ve been called judgmental, condescending and I’ve been told to “get off the internet”. This stems from a recent article I wrote about hoping women will embrace their pregnancy. This week, the Today Show picked up my story online and it’s been read well over 100,000 times. It’s not a huge surprise, given that I’m a blogger and not everyone is going to agree with my views. But, I think if you ask my friends, or even viewers, judgmental and condescending are two traits that couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to my character.
As hard as it can be to see people writing negative comments about my life and who I am, it comes with the territory. I like to think of my blog and social media as my comfort zone. It’s like my ragged, worn Minnie Mouse who I carried for years as a child. I can expect, for the most part, to find support when I post stories or pictures on my Facebook page. I have an army of thousands of people who care deeply about my family and all three of my triplets. But, when you take away the comfort zone, my words become fair game to criticism. Maybe people don’t agree with my views, or maybe they don’t know the history of my journey to become a parent. I’ll never know. But, the more my journey is shared nationally, and internationally, the more negativity I face.
So, why do I share some of my darkest moments? Why do I open myself up to such hurtful comments? It’s an easy answer. Here is why I write:
I write for my children
I’m lucky that my children were given a chance at life at 22 weeks, and I’m even luckier that I got to see all three of my children alive, even if Abby was only breathing for a few hours. I write for Peyton, Parker and Abby. I began chronicling my triplet pregnancy through my blog in 2013, yet it became so much more than just a personal journal. Writing is therapeutic for me, and pouring my heart and soul into it has helped me cope with the loss of two of my children. Writing is a way to honor Parker and Abby, my two angels who never experienced life beyond the hospital walls. After my second child, Parker, passed away just shy of two months old, I vowed to keep their memory alive. Writing gives me a chance to paint a beautiful picture of my triplets and to share what it’s like being a mom to children in both heaven and on earth.
I write to help others
I have experienced infertility, premature birth and child loss. All three can be heartbreaking and frightening, as life fills up with uncertainty. Through the tens of thousands of comments I’ve received over the years, sure, I remember the few negative messages, but, it’s the positive feedback that I remember the most. I am able to help others going through the thick of life’s imperfections. I can share my insight of getting through the darkest days, not only surviving, but thriving as I figure out my new normal. I read every single comment, message and email that come my way and I try to help, even if it’s simply responding with condolences or a virtual hug. My triplets have given me new purpose in life. I feel grateful that people turn to me to share their most heartbreaking moments and I hope that I can help, showing them I am evidence that you can move forward in life, no matter how terrible the past may seem.
I write to raise awareness
I have a unique platform. Through my writing and my career as a television news anchor, I’ve been given the rare opportunity to be an advocate on a public stage. I am able to share my journey, all the ups and downs, bringing to life the difficult roads that so many people travel on. They are often taboo subjects, topics that some people don’t feel comfortable sharing with the world. Yet, I’m an open book and it’s become my mission to raise awareness and to be a voice for people around the world. I’m happy to share how I became pregnant after years of infertility and I’m proud to show off my surviving triplet, Peyton, proving that even the youngest babies can survive and that hospitals should lower viability requirements. And I”m honored to publicly share my tears and heartache as I mourn my two children who left this earth far too soon. I am human and I’m able to paint a picture of how it’s possible to make it through the worst days of your life.
A dear friend told me, it’s important to look at the world with an open mind and heart. As long as people keep opening their hearts to me, I’ll keep on writing.
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Read the Today Show article: From A Mother Of Angels: Please Embrace Your Pregnancy Bump
Peg Fry says
Great article Stacey. You are a wonderful mother and wife. Your articles are so moving and sincere. Keep on writing.
I can’t imagine people being so “mean and cruel” as to tell you to get off the internet! I look forward to your blog and catching up with Miss P and her family! Please keep writing Stacey and know that there are so MANY more of us who have grown to love you and your family – both here and in heaven! Thanks for sharing your life with us! Love and Blessings to you and your entire family!
Stacy, you have a talent that surpasses most that I have encountered. You have a God-given gift of being able to share and help others during times of struggle to bring a ray of hope and light into their lives. Remember that “hurt people hurt people” so do not take it personally when others are cruel. You are dearly loved by so many. Continue to do what you do best. I truly enjoy every blog you write and oh how I’ve loved watching little Miss P grow & overcome all the obstacles thrown in her path! You and your family have become an extension to my own family. Blessings and love to you & yours!
pat cole says
Don’t stop what you are doing. You are an inspiration to thousands. You have endured things that most people can’t. I have been following since your annoucement of having triplets. I enjoy all the blogs, and think that it is great that other outlets have opened for you to continue to share.
It takes someone special to be able to share the ups and downs of your life. But even if you just help one person through it is worth it, but you probably have helped hundreds understand your tribulation.
I look forward to Monday morning cuteness with the adorable Miss Peyton. She is growing and overcoming so many things.
We need to get the words out there of all the different hurdles that we face, otherwise they just stayed locked in the closet and people don’t understand. The more people know about different things it makes it easier for someone who doesn’t know or understand.
There are so many things like Autism, infertility,Downs syndrome that alot of people just don’t understand.
So, don’t let the negative people bring you down, think of all the positive effects that you have made for thousands that care.
One Mile Smile says
Fantastic article! Keep on writing. I can’t even believe your original article received any negative criticism.
Ultimately, at the end of the day we have to be happy with the people we are! And it seems like you have that down. Keep on sharing and posting, and HUGE congratulations on being picked up by the Today Show!
I have found there are so many cruel people out there that have no life and want to bring you down to their level. But you are an inspiration to young people that have no hope of having kids and really want them. Keep up you blog and let the negative roll away! I believe for every negative person there are 20 positive. Very good blog and keep it going!
Stacey, I have watched you grow from afar into the beautiful and talented woman that you are. I feel so very blessed to have even played a small part in your life. Your writing is soulful and I feel your joys and sorrows. I love reading your emails and it brings be back to San Diego every time! I hope in the future we get to connect again. Please keep writing as you have a very loyal following! Much love!
You keep telling your story . Don’t ever let a few stop what helps so many. God bless you and your family.
Marilea Cearlock says
Unfortunately, there will always be “haters” in this world. I guarantee none of these people have ever felt your pain. I pray they never do feel the pain and despair of losing their child. You are doing an awesome job of honoring your children and giving bereaved parents hope. Keep following your heart! Hugs and prayers.
Sharon Nolte says
Please keep writing, you’re still an inspiration to me in my health fight. If someone doesn’t like what you write, they DO NOT have to read it. A big thanks to you & hugs to Miss P.
Ruth Ann Vokac says
Never stop being YOU! You have shown yourself as a fellow human to be admired, respected and appreciated. I am privileged to have an eye into your world.
Thank you for willingly dealing with the pain and heartache of those who say hurtful, unkind things. The majority of the us believe in you and your story and appreciate you sharing it to anyone, anywhere. Your bravery helps many others cope with their own loss and not feel alone.
Teri Jo Dodds says
Stay strong Stacy. I love watching you on the news and knowing that you stand up for yourself and your babies. Peyton is amazing. It is invaluable that you are raising awareness for others.
Tonia Osborn says
Never have i thought of you anything other than an honest caring mother of 3 precious babies, i love reading about your journey, keep on writing
This is truly inspiring. I love your “why” it’s real and personal and honest. We all have to have a reason to continue writing, to continue sharing. Even if the comments are negative or the feedback is cruel…if you are reaching the heart of one that’s all that matters. Keep following your heart, and continue writing for those beautiful precious babes!
Everyday Ethnic Mom says
People are just scared of the truth. You are a strong woman for writing your opinion. No one can take that from you. You overcame great loss and are still standing and if people do not like it that they can move on and read something else. People do not start blogs for pure academic reasoning but for their own believe and understanding of situations and that is what you did. Tell them to go away and you should continue what you are doing
Kathy Eckles says
Stacy people will say mean things, you should not mention it, they are not worth your breath. Authors get beat up everyday don’t take it to heart or it will slow you down. Stay positive you will be fine.
Linda McDermith says
You are an inspiration to a lot of women, Stacy???? Keep it up and keep the faith!!!
I enjoyed your article. It brought me much needed idk if its support or knowing I’m not alone. I lost my three angels one by one & don’t speak much of it . though i constantly think of them. I have now read everything I can find on you & your journey. I applaude you for all you went threw , did and are still doing. You are a very brave and strong woman. You helped me. Don’t let anyone stop you. Your doing a wonderful job with a beautiful family! Thank you
Thank you Beth–and hugs to you from a fellow angel mom.
Judy Stout says
Keep writing, I love reading this every week. I love seeing the pictures of Peyton and hear about how well she is doing. Ignore those mean people, they have no idea what you and your family have went through. I am sure you have handled it better then they ever could.
The Home Loving Wife says
You are doing exactly what you should be. And I’m so grateful. Keep on keepin’ on, sweet mama. You are a blessing and a gift.
Laura Pearse says
Stacey don’t stop what you are doing. I love listening and reading your stories and learning about Peyton. Don’t let them coward people knock you down. They don’t know anything about what you have experienced in your life. Keep your headed and stay positive about everything. Every week I look forward to your articles and pictures.
Love this! And we all have stories to tell and i think yours is one worth telling. So beautifully written..
Susan Zuckerman says
I am one of the fortunate who have known Stacey since the day she was born and I can say, with great confidence, she has always been so very special. This tragic chapter only reinforces the adage, “what does not kill you makes you stronger.” Pretty sure Stacey has reached super hero status by now! Instead of burying her head in the sand shedding endless tears, she has become an inspirational advocate, a light in the darkness, offering her story and strength to so many women struggling with their own, personal heartaches. Whether you agree or disagree with what she has to say, take a moment and “walk a mile in her shoes!” And be grateful, as I am, for this beautiful, young woman who has done so much for so many. Love you, Stacey. ❤️
Jenn Stillwell says
You are a wonderful mother and a true inspiration to many. Don’t let the negatives outweigh all of the positives. I look forward to your posts and seeing all of Peyton’s progress. May God continue to bless you and your precious family everyday.
First of all, I am so sorry about the loss of your two babies. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you must have felt, and still feel. I just read this post, and then hopped over and read the Today Show article. And wow, I can’t believe anyone would react negatively to that article. I applaud you for writing it, and every word is true. I am very fortunate to have a living daughter, but since her birth we have struggled with years of infertility and multiple miscarriages. I am lucky enough to be pregnant again (32 weeks as of yesterday), but even this pregnancy started out as twins and we lost one. I know every single day I’m pregnant is a gift. Every single day that baby is alive, growing and healthy is a miracle. I cringe every time I read a Facebook post where someone complains about being pregnant! Anyway, the article is great–don’t let the haters get you down!