In the past 24 hours, I’ve been called judgmental, condescending and I’ve been told to “get off the internet”. This stems from a recent article I wrote about hoping women will embrace their pregnancy. This week, the Today Show picked up my story online and it’s been read well over 100,000 times. It’s not a huge surprise, given that I’m a blogger and not everyone is going to agree with my views. But, I think if you ask my friends, or even viewers, judgmental and condescending are two traits that couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to my character.
As hard as it can be to see people writing negative comments about my life and who I am, it comes with the territory. I like to think of my blog and social media as my comfort zone. It’s like my ragged, worn Minnie Mouse who I carried for years as a child. I can expect, for the most part, to find support when I post stories or pictures on my Facebook page. I have an army of thousands of people who care deeply about my family and all three of my triplets. But, when you take away the comfort zone, my words become fair game to criticism. Maybe people don’t agree with my views, or maybe they don’t know the history of my journey to become a parent. I’ll never know. But, the more my journey is shared nationally, and internationally, the more negativity I face.
So, why do I share some of my darkest moments? Why do I open myself up to such hurtful comments? It’s an easy answer. Here is why I write:
I write for my children
I’m lucky that my children were given a chance at life at 22 weeks, and I’m even luckier that I got to see all three of my children alive, even if Abby was only breathing for a few hours. I write for Peyton, Parker and Abby. I began chronicling my triplet pregnancy through my blog in 2013, yet it became so much more than just a personal journal. Writing is therapeutic for me, and pouring my heart and soul into it has helped me cope with the loss of two of my children. Writing is a way to honor Parker and Abby, my two angels who never experienced life beyond the hospital walls. After my second child, Parker, passed away just shy of two months old, I vowed to keep their memory alive. Writing gives me a chance to paint a beautiful picture of my triplets and to share what it’s like being a mom to children in both heaven and on earth.
I write to help others
I have experienced infertility, premature birth and child loss. All three can be heartbreaking and frightening, as life fills up with uncertainty. Through the tens of thousands of comments I’ve received over the years, sure, I remember the few negative messages, but, it’s the positive feedback that I remember the most. I am able to help others going through the thick of life’s imperfections. I can share my insight of getting through the darkest days, not only surviving, but thriving as I figure out my new normal. I read every single comment, message and email that come my way and I try to help, even if it’s simply responding with condolences or a virtual hug. My triplets have given me new purpose in life. I feel grateful that people turn to me to share their most heartbreaking moments and I hope that I can help, showing them I am evidence that you can move forward in life, no matter how terrible the past may seem.
I write to raise awareness
I have a unique platform. Through my writing and my career as a television news anchor, I’ve been given the rare opportunity to be an advocate on a public stage. I am able to share my journey, all the ups and downs, bringing to life the difficult roads that so many people travel on. They are often taboo subjects, topics that some people don’t feel comfortable sharing with the world. Yet, I’m an open book and it’s become my mission to raise awareness and to be a voice for people around the world. I’m happy to share how I became pregnant after years of infertility and I’m proud to show off my surviving triplet, Peyton, proving that even the youngest babies can survive and that hospitals should lower viability requirements. And I”m honored to publicly share my tears and heartache as I mourn my two children who left this earth far too soon. I am human and I’m able to paint a picture of how it’s possible to make it through the worst days of your life.
A dear friend told me, it’s important to look at the world with an open mind and heart. As long as people keep opening their hearts to me, I’ll keep on writing.
Follow Stacey on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
Read the Today Show article: From A Mother Of Angels: Please Embrace Your Pregnancy Bump