It was a simple email that peaked my interest. Only two words filled the subject line, but those two words would hold a glimpse into my daughter’s life. I opened the email titled ‘Progress Report’ and quickly scanned the message from my child’s preschool teacher. As I began to read, tears gently fell into my morning coffee. My heart sank as I thought about when my daughter’s prematurity became a problem.
The progress report was actually quite positive. My daughter, Peyton, has compassion for others. Her teacher mentioned what a kind child she is and a good friend to all of her classmates. But one sentence deflated my spirits, like a helium balloon losing air, slowly weaving towards the ground.
“Sometimes we are unsure if Peyton understands what we are asking of her. However, if we wait for a moment and guide her accordingly she does just fine.”
It may seem like nothing, a silly reason to bring out the tears. But, for parents of premature children, a comment like this can mean so much more. My daughter is our lone surviving triplet; a micro-preemie who was born on the edge of viability. At three years old, Peyton has dealt with more doctors and therapists than most people do in a lifetime. She just recently graduated from physical therapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy and now attends preschool, something we didn’t know would ever be possible for her.
Even though she has overcome so much, I still see her struggle. Her speech therapists believe she has Apraxia, a motor speech disorder. Peyton is very smart and her brain comprehends everything, but she has trouble getting the words out of her mouth. Just recently, we were talking with a young boy when Peyton began speaking. After repeating herself several times, the boy asked, “What is wrong with her? Why does she keep saying the same thing?” I didn’t nudge my daughter, instead, I smiled as I waited for her mouth to catch up to her mind. While lack of communication skills may be a common issue for toddlers, this preschool progress report was a reminder that we’re not out of the woods. Peyton’s physical complications may be a thing of the past, but she will most likely face future hurdles that are not always visible. Between a brain bleed at birth and an early arrival more than 17 weeks premature, there is a decent chance my daughter will struggle in some way in school. And that breaks my heart.
My daughter didn’t sign up for this. As a preemie parent, some days I feel frustration, other days I feel guilt. Watching your child struggle in life stings; that ‘lump in your throat feeling’ often appears with no warning. But as quickly as that pain arrives, it disappears when I think of all that my daughter has conquered. My husband and I had no idea what type of life our one-pound triplet would lead. With a less than 10% chance of survival, Peyton’s future didn’t look bright. It’s safe to say our miracle is proving every statistic wrong.
Our daughter is perfect in her own special way. Each little challenge makes her unique and watching her work through every struggle is awe inspiring. As the words of the progress report sank in, I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. We all face different challenges throughout our lives, some bigger than others. My daughter’s ambition and positive demeanor will get her far in the coming years. There’s no telling what her future holds, but I know my child won’t let anything get in her way.
Peyton has done so good and she will keep growing. Sometimes we all can’t say what we are thinking and that will change. That little boy doesn’t know what she has went thru and doesn’t understand but it still hurts. Hopefully, his parents can’t explain it to him. It’s not like they don’t know who she is. Hugs to you and Peyton.
As a first grade teacher for over 20 Years, I have seen many children come and go. Even had one who only spoke in vowels one year. They all mature at different rates in different ways. It sounds like you and Peyton’s teachers are handling everything in the right way. She may need more time and more direction, but she will ‘get it’! I pray for all of you daily.
Peyton has made so much progress,. I bet in time she will overcome this with lots of patience. She is just adorable, and has accomplished so much at a early age.
We all have flaws. No one is perfect. Don’t let this get you down. As she grows it will correct itself. She has overcome so much already and she will be fine!
Just remember everyone learns differently, at their own pace and Peyton will be just fine… she has loving parents and 2 guardian angels watching over her! Sending you all love!
She is so beautiful! As she goes through school, you will become her advocate. I taught school for 36 years and have a disabled preemie. We had to fight for every step as she went through our local school as she was the first wheelchair bound student. Whatever happens through the years, become educated on the subject and if possible join a support group. No matter what, there are accommodations that can be made in the regular classroom. Many regular classroom teachers don’t know about disabilities or accommodations they can make. Some simply don’t want to. Educate the teachers. When I had my first student with Asperger syndrome, his mother educated me. He had spent 3 years being misunderstood. He was my student in 3rd and 4th grades. He’s now making the honor roll in college. Their are many good children’s book on all disabilities. I ‘d have them in my personal collection and have Peyton take them to school to be read. I asked if I could read a book to my class about Asperger syndrome to my class, and mom said they already were used to him. They thought he did strange things but didn’t understand why. When he was gone one day, I read the book to them. They were so enlightened. I always tried to express to my students that we all learn in different way and we all had areas we were good in and areas where we struggled. I always emphasized them to help each other. If I can ever help you, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ve written to you before about my daughter.
Thank you for this. As a mother of a 25 week 2 pound miracle I identify with this very well. Our daughter is 4 now and doing very well, but I still worry about her speech, her hypersensitivity, her tiny stature, her still-paralyzed vocal chord. With Kindergarten in the near future I am nervous; will she struggle? Will she stay healthy enough? But through it all she is incredible, just as she always has been, and she will continue to enlighten us all with her pristine strength, grace, stubborn will and a way of making everyone she encounters feel special, just as your lovely daughter does. Keep fighting the good fight mom, you inspire me!