It’s a secret I’ve been holding closely to my heart. It’s a secret, so big, we didn’t even tell our parents for months. Six years after being pregnant with our triplets, my husband and I are thrilled to announce I am pregnant with our rainbow baby!
I’ve sat staring at a blank page for the past hour, trying to figure out how to put my emotions into words. The tears have poured down my face, my heart racing as I think about finally sharing our news with the world. Truth be told, being pregnant after child loss is one of the most difficult things I have gone through in my life. We are so excited to welcome this new baby to our family, yet it’s scary knowing all that I have been through in the past. A rainbow baby is a term used for a baby born after loss. At the end of the storm is often a rainbow, and this baby is a symbol of hope.
Six years ago, we became pregnant with our triplets. After experiencing the deaths of Abby and Parker, and my own near death experience, having more children was put on the back burner. Over the years we talked about it. I always thought we would have more than one child here on earth, but to be honest, I was too scared. I couldn’t imagine going through a pregnancy, wondering each week what complications might arise. And I couldn’t fathom losing another child.
Six months ago, we decided our family was complete. We signed the papers and said goodbye to our fertility clinic, closing that chapter of our lives. We were in a good place, happy with our little family that included Peyton here on earth, and Abby and Parker in Heaven. But God had other plans for us. This was truly meant to be.
We are so thrilled to be welcoming another bundle of joy into our lives and I’m feeling good, other than being constantly exhausted. As I turn 39-years-old later this week, I can definitely say being pregnant at close to 40 is SO much more tiring than in my early 30’s!
I’m scared and so many milestones bring back memories of my triplet pregnancy, but I’m in good hands. The same team of doctors who saved my life and my children are taking good care of me. I am at appointments weekly and this baby is being closely monitored. While I delivered the triplets more than 17 weeks premature, we are all hopeful that I will have a long and healthy pregnancy this time around.
My family is so grateful for your support over the years and I am beyond excited to finally share our news! The coming months will be difficult. There have already been plenty of sleepless nights, anxiety and grief, and I know more will come as I start to reach the milestones from my triplet pregnancy. But thanks to my family, an amazing group of friends, and a support system that spans the globe, I will make it through this pregnancy. Our sweet baby is already so loved and we are so excited to have you along for this next chapter of our lives.
**And special thanks to Kate Spencer, who captured these absolutely beautiful photos**