If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

Alright, friends…can we have a little chat?

We need to start lifting each other up, not tear each other down. A stranger recently came up to me and was shocked by how I looked.

“WOW! People say the camera adds 10 pounds, but it adds so much more! You look good in person, but boy, the camera really makes you look so much heavier.”

I kept a smile on my face and nodded. Part of me was shocked that a fellow female would say something like that, the other part of me wanted to laugh.

I’ve been called fat, ugly, dumb, you name it. 20 years ago, I would have been in tears. These days, I’m old and jaded…and sadly, I’m used to it.

But as I thought about this interaction, it started to tug at me. We’ve all heard the occasional jabs in life, masked by a nice comment.

Here’s the thing– You may think you’re being nice, but a backhanded compliment is just criticism wrapped in a shiny bow.

Maybe you’re trying to be nice, but for many of us, we don’t hear the positive, our ears only tune in to the negative.

As a female, and as a mom, comments like this one make me sad.

Who cares if I look chunky on TV? I hope that people look at me and see a strong, smart woman, not judge me for how much weight I’ve gained or lost. I hope friends love me for my personality and sincerity, not because of superficial things.

It’s easy to look online and compare your life to others, but, that’s not reality. Oftentimes, social media is filtered to show only the most glamorous and happy moments. And I’ll admit it—I’ve caught myself judging and comparing myself to others.

No two women are the same; we are all unique and beautiful in our own way.

I’m a mother with two girls who look up to me and I want them to see a woman who is comfortable in their own skin. I want them to witness kindness and positivity.

And that starts with us.

Tell another woman how amazing they are.

And remember what your mother taught you—If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

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