“Have you discussed plans for Baby A? She is downstairs in the hospital morgue.”
It’s a moment I’ve never really talked about, yet it’s an unfortunate reality for those of us who have experienced the loss of a child. As new parents, my husband and I were supposed to be planning our nursery and picking out baby clothes. Instead, we were making funeral arrangements for our first-born triplet, who died just two hours after birth.
In the days directly after delivering our triplets, we found ourselves going through the motions, our bodies physically present, but our hearts and minds far off in the distance. Pamphlets for funeral homes were dropped by our room, phone calls to transport our baby girl were made. A rabbi visited us to offer condolences. Plans were eventually made, a simple urn picked out, and final arrangements were made before being whisked into a special room at the funeral home to identify our baby girl.
Two months later, my husband and I found ourselves in the very same room at the funeral home. This time, we were making arrangements for our son, who passed away in the NICU after 55 days of life. Within two months, two of our children had died.
It’s been more than nine years, yet I can remember those heartbreaking days vividly. Society has come a long way in the nearly decade since we first experienced child loss, and the resources for bereaved parents have improved tremendously. October is “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month”, and I’m honored to team up with Remembering A Life to help grieving parents. Remembering a Life is an online platformto not only help parents through the difficult tasks that come with child loss, but also to lend a hand, and a heart, with resources like step-by-step help for managing grief. To read more about my grief journey, as well as Remembering A Life, click here.